MACKEY CHRONICLES | "For Always & Forever"

I kneel slowly by Hannah's bed. The exhaustion of the day making it easy to move downwards to the soft floor. I find myself wondering whether or not getting back up will be nearly so easy. I focus back to the task at hand...back tickles. Not a nightly ritual these days (with all the kids in one room, it makes any attention given in one direction a lot more challenging)- but as I looked at Hannah's teared stained cheeks, I found myself caving to her pleads. She needed some extra love tonight. And that was something I knew how to give. Extra love.

As my hands began to trace intricate patterns on her back, Hannah's body seemed to release the tension of the proceeding moments and she relaxed instantly. I watched her fading into sleep and considered laying down next to her. Her bed, not yet too small for the two of us, looked so inviting at the end of this long day. I slowly pushed Hannah to the side of her bed and crawled in beside her.

Instantly she curved her small body into mine, placing her head firmly against my chest. "Stay here with me", her body seemed to say. Just then, a small voice called out from the top bunk.

"Mom?" Tyler seemed unsure whether or not the momentary silence had signaled my departure.

"Yes, sweetheart?" I replied as a small smile crept across my face.

He seemed to hesitate a moment. "I love you so much. I don't ever want us to be apart."

I couldn't help but feel a little confused by where this conversation was headed, so I stayed in a safe zone.

"I'm glad. I don't ever want to be apart either." I said.

"Is that why you got married in the temple?" Tyler asked.

Suddenly I began to understand. He was still thinking about a conversation we had earlier in the day. As we rushed off to a friend's wedding reception (though not the formal type reception he was used to), Tyler asked when they had gotten married in the temple. A little unsure of how to respond, I told him the truth...they weren't married in the temple, they are Lutheran. Of course that just launched us into an endless foray of questions about other religions and why they didn't believe in the Book of Mormon like we did, and why didn't we just show them the video about Joseph Smith ("Then they will know!" he had adamantly said).

But at some point, the subject had changed (and I had breathed a little sigh of relief...trying to explain the ins and outs of religion to a 5 year old can be a little daunting, to say the least). But I should have known that Tyler was far from done with the subject.

Now that I understood his meaning, I thought I was able to address his concern. "Yes, your dad and I got married in the temple, where we were sealed. And that means that you and me and dad and Hannah and Rachel will be together for always and forever."

"And what about Grammy, was she sealed?" He asked. I knew he wanted to make sure he got to keep her forever too.

"Yes. Gramps and Grammy, and Grandma and Grampy were all sealed in the temple too." I said.

"But not your friend." It was a statement, not a question.

"No...not my friend. She was married on the beach." I drew a quick breath. It actually sounded pretty cool to be married on the beach. Would he pick that over being together forever? I couldn't help but wonder how the mind of a small boy would process this.

"So," He paused, thinking. "That means they don't get to be together forever?" There was a degree of sadness in his small voice. And I felt my tears well up, realizing how simple this was for a 5 year old boy. Nothing beats forever. Nothing.

"No." I said, "When people get married outside of the temple, it is just until they die. Then their marriage is over. But when we are sealed in the temple, our families can be together forever."

I wasn't sure I was ready for our conversation to be over. But Hannah placed her hands on my cheeks and begged me to sing some songs. I began to sing just as my wonderful husband Vern entered the room. He walked straight up to Tyler's bed and began talking to him in hushed whispers. I could tell it was something to do with a lesson Vern had been preparing for church. But my mind had to stay focused on remembering the words to an old lullaby I had begun.

Slowly my eyes, heavy with exhaustion, began to close and the singing came to an end. I listened to the heavy breathing (or slight snoring) coming from the small body curled beside me. I thought about what Tyler had asked. He was right. Being together forever definitely beat everything. Knowing they were mine forever brought a tangible peace to my heart. I strained to hear the now audible conversation coming from above me. The conversation was obviously coming to an end.

"Tyler, do you know how much Heavenly Father loves you?" I heard Vern ask.

"Yes." A slight pause. "Daddy, do YOU know how much Heavenly Father loves YOU?"

I could tell Vern was smiling, "You know son... I think I do." he replied.

As a smile came to my face, and a tear to my eye- I couldn't help but feel that right there, in a small moment, in a small bedroom, in a small house...I was a part of something huge. Something that I get to keep forever. A wonderful family that is all mine. For always and forever.